The Ultimate Best Man Duties Guide: Stag Do, Speeches & Wedding Day

It can happen to you anywhere, at any time. You could be in the pub, relaxing on your sofa with a beer, or enjoying a nice meal. But whenever it happens, you'll always remember the moment you are asked the most important question of all...

“Will you be my best man?”

The moment after you have agreed (and I’m assuming you will agree – he wouldn’t have asked if he wasn’t expecting you to!), you might find yourself overwhelmed with the responsibilities. Organising a stag do. Making sure Great-Aunt Mildred stays off the whiskey. Trying not to chat up all the bridesmaids at once. Oh, and making a speech in front of everyone the groom likes enough to invite!

Well, don’t panic. We are here to help. This guide covers everything you need to know about being a legendary best man, from the stag do to the speech.

Best Man Duties Checklist: Before the Wedding

If there is one piece of advice you should always remember, it is this: DO NOT LEAVE EVERYTHING UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE!

It's often the case that after you've been asked, there is a significant amount of time until the wedding—maybe a year or more. You may think you don’t need to worry about anything for ages, but that is just not true. As well as being a support for the groom (who will already be knee-deep in wedding planning), you’ve got two big jobs right away.

Helping the Groom with Suit Shopping

One of your first jobs is to go with the groom to look at suits. You are there for moral support and honest feedback. Regardless of how scruffy he is on a normal day, the groom wants to look his best. This is the one time you can tell him that something makes him look like a penguin waddling across an ice flow. Be Honest. He will thank you for it.

Know the Colour: The groom will have been told the colour scheme. It won't be "Blue"; it will be "Lavender Mist" or "Burnt Amber." If he has a swatch (a piece of fabric), bring it. If not, pray.

Ask for Help: It’s OK to ask the shop assistant for help. They do this every day.

The Reward: It is a scientific fact that suit shops make men thirsty. You must ensure you visit a pub directly afterwards. Suggested dosage is a minimum of three pints.

How to Plan a Stag Do: The Essentials

This is the big one. Regardless of all your other duties, the one that will rise to the top of your mind first is the Stag Do. But where do you start?

The Guest List & Communication

The first step is the guest list. The average stag party tends to have 12-14 people—big enough for a party, small enough to organise[cite: 53].

Set up a WhatsApp Group: We strongly advise setting this up immediately to make collective decisions and disseminate information.

Beware the Ghosts: Some guys will confirm immediately. Others will "ghost" your messages but still expect a place booked for them. Be firm with deadlines!

The Dads & In-Laws: Be honest with them about the plans. If you are going to a strip club or drinking until 4am, let them know so they can make an informed decision on whether to join[cite: 53].

Choosing the Best Stag Do Destination

Do you stay in the UK or travel abroad? That's the first major decision[cite: 33].

The Budget: Honest communication is required here. Don't excite the stag with ideas of Vegas if half the group can only afford Blackpool[cite: 34]. You don't want to price friends out of the trip.

The Location Rule: If you are booking a city break, look for a hotel within 1-2km of the city centre. You don't want to spend your entire budget on taxis just to get to the bars.

Accommodation Types: Hotels are standard, but if you book a private house, check the damage deposit requirements first.

Picking the Right Stag Activities

Once the location is set, what are you actually going to do?

1. Check the Logistics: Paintball venues and Karting tracks are often well outside the city centre. Check the distance between your hotel and the activity. It is often cheaper to book a local minibus service than to take multiple taxis.

2. Don't Overfill the Itinerary: Don't try to cram too many activities in. You want to enjoy the weekend without constantly hustling to and from events[cite: 36]. One or two activities per day is usually plenty.

3. The Morning After: Instructors will breathalyse you for driving activities like Quads or Karts. Do not schedule these for 9am if you are planning a heavy night on Friday[cite: 52]!

Collecting the Money

This is often the most stressful part. You will generally need to pay deposits when booking hotels and activities.

Set Strict Deadlines: Make a careful note of when final payments are due so you don't lose your booking.

The Late Payers: Even with the best planning, you can expect to be messed around by a few late payers. Chase them early and often.

Why You Should Use a Stag Do Organiser

Organising a stag do is a dubious honour. You have to plan speeches, look after the rings, and organize 15 lads who can't even organise their own socks.

If the thought of chasing late payments and finding stag-friendly hotels makes you want to cry, here are 3 reasons to let us do the heavy lifting:

1. We Are The Experts: We have been organising stag dos since 2009. We know which hotels accept stags (many don't!) and which activities are actually worth the money.

2. Individual Payments: The biggest headache for a Best Man is collecting money. We provide an online system where each lad pays their share directly to us. You don't have to be the debt collector.

3. Your Money is Protected: We are a fully bonded company. Your money is held in a trust account until your event takes place, offering you total financial protection that booking direct often can't match.

Writing the Best Man Speech

You’ve survived the stag do. Now you face the most famous part of being a best man: The Speech.

The Father of the Bride's speech is heartfelt. The Groom's speech is full of thank-yous. Yours? Yours is the one they will remember.

Golden Rules for a Killer Speech

The Timing: Keep it between 3-5 minutes. Longer than that, and guests will tune out. Short but sweet is the order of the day.

Be Appropriate: The age range at a wedding is wide. Pitch your speech to the elderly relatives, not your mates. If you are wondering if a joke is appropriate, it probably isn't. Keep it clean.

Don't Roast the Bride: Do not make any inappropriate jokes at the bride's expense. You don't want to be the guy who starts a fight at the wedding.

Start Early: Plan it a month or two in advance. Last-minute speeches are rarely "killer" speeches.

Speech Cheat Sheet: Need an Opener?

Struggling to find a funny way to start your speech? Why not use a bit of history to break the ice? We've dug up some facts you can steal:

The "Spartan" Angle:
Stag dos actually date back to the 5th Century Spartans. They would hold a dinner to toast the groom before battle.
The Joke: "So tonight we celebrate [Groom] in the traditional Spartan way. Although looking at him, I'm not sure he'd last 5 minutes in the movie '300'."

The "God of Fertility" Angle:
The term "Stag" is believed to be linked to Cernunnos, the ancient Celtic Horned God of Fertility and Animals.
The Joke: "History tells us the Stag represents the God of Fertility. I invite you all to look at [Groom] right now... does he look like a God of Fertility to you?"

The "Naked Dessert" Angle:
In 1896, Herbert Barnum Seeley threw a bachelor party in New York that was raided by police because a dancer was found hiding inside a giant dessert.
The Joke: "We tried to keep things traditional tonight like the Barnum party of 1896. But unfortunately, we couldn't find a pudding big enough to hide [Best Man's name] in."

Structuring Your Masterpiece

The Opening: Say good evening and introduce yourself. This is a good time to thank the groom for inviting you and maybe thank the bar staff for a low-key icebreaker!

The Middle: Talk about your relationship with the groom. Use amusing anecdotes that highlight what a great guy he is. Try to link them to the bride if you can.

The End: Finish with thanks, one last joke, and a toast. Then sit down and enjoy your wine.

Practice Makes Perfect

Once you’ve got your speech prepared, practice it. Record yourself on your phone to see how it sounds. Write it down on bullet-point cards so if your mind goes blank, you can quickly get back in the flow.

Best Man Duties on the Wedding Day

Your job on the day is simple: Steer the groom through the best day of his life.

Breakfast: Take him for a proper meal. It grounds him and settles the nerves.

The Drink: One drink for "Dutch Courage" is fine. Five drinks is a disaster waiting to happen. Keep him steady.

Problem Solving: If Great-Aunt Hilda can't sit near Uncle Ross because of a feud over a tea set from 1998, make sure the ushers know. Solve problems before the bride even notices them.

Once the speeches are done and the dancing starts, your job is complete. Grab a drink, loosen your tie, and enjoy the party. You’ve earned it.

Need Help Organising the Ultimate Stag Do?

If reading all of that made you sweat, don't panic. You don't have to do it all alone.

The Stag and Hen Experience has been organizing legendary weekends since 2009. We have an unrivalled database of quality suppliers, hotels, and activities.

If you want to take the hassle out of the planning . Click through to browse our top destinations, accommodation options and activities or get in touch with our expert team who will build the package for you, your experience starts here

Good luck with the speech!