My Wild Tenerife Stag Do: Real Customer Review

Real Reviews: When planning a stag do, you want booze, sunshine, and zero hassle. In this diary, one of our stags recounts a classic weekend in Tenerife featuring go-karts, cheap beer, and the Veronicas Strip.

It hits you when you leave the plane. All of a sudden you go from the relative cool of the air-conditioned cabin into what feels like a wall of heat. And this at only 10am! This is what we were here for: booze and sunshine, a proper Tenerife stag weekend.

We breezed through customs without incident. There was a guy to meet us at arrivals with a sign with my name on—or rather, what he had been told was my name: “McAsshole”. Nice one, guys. Let me return the favour on someone else’s stag do one day!

Arrival & First Pints

All 14 of us piled into a minibus for the short ride to Playa de las Américas. Check-in was quick, and the apartments ticked the boxes. We dumped our gear and set out for a wander.

A ten-minute walk took us down to the beach, until the heat drove us into the nearest bar flying a Union Jack. The staff seemed to be Spanish, but they had Stella on draft and were showing reruns of “Only Fools and Horses”, so we settled in to get the weekend started with a few pints and a decent English breakfast.

The First Night

Our first excursion was a Guided Bar Crawl at 9pm. We met our rep at reception and headed to Lineker's Bar, which was packed with other Tenerife stag do and hen do groups.

I think we visited three different bars, though there are vague memories of a fourth. Every time we got a round of drinks, it came with a round of shots. The reps got everyone involved in drinking games, and by the time we got to the club, we were all the wrong side of wasted. I’m not entirely sure how we got back, but I woke up in the right apartment the next morning, so result!

Karting & BBQ

The next day, we met our rep again for Go Karting. The guys at the track clearly knew how to handle a stag party because as soon as we’d finished racing, we headed to the track bar where the first round was free!

Part of the package was a barbecue for us all before they ran us back to the hotel. I’d definitely recommend karting in Tenerife; the track was a challenge, the electric karts were nippy, and the hospitality was second to none. The rest of the afternoon was spent round the pool drinking cheap supermarket beer (24 cents a can!) and warming ourselves up for the night ahead.

The Final Night

We headed out around 7pm for a cheap steak dinner before heading to a local lap dance club arranged by The Stag and Hen Experience. We were pleased with the club; the girls were fit and had impressive pole skills. Because I was the stag, I was dragged on stage, handcuffed to the pole, and given a free dance!

From there, we headed to the famous Veronicas Strip and Bobby’s Bar. It all gets pretty messy again—lots of shots, lots of drinks—but at least this time I remembered the taxi ride back!

We had one last breakfast at the "Only Fools and Horses" bar before heading to the airport. It was a stag weekend done right: no casualties, no arrests, and everyone giving it the double thumbs up!

Inspired by Richard's story? Get in touch with The Stag and Hen Experience to plan your own Tenerife Stag Do or check out our comprehensive Tenerife Guide.